r
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Recent Deep Thoughts By r
I don't think a person should act shocked if they tell me that life isn't fair and then I steal their wallet.
They say that if you come across a bear in the wild to remember that it is probably just as scared of you as you are of it. I think it is as likely if the bear runs off it just thinks you are ugly.
In an effort to maximize the amount of good luck I could get I decided to hire 200 people to continuously shout good luck at me all day. I don't think it worked because I hate noisy crowds.
I think the hardest part of coming up with new deep thoughts has to be the sharks.
I think if you suddenly got super powers and you could fly you might not want to fly very high because you might lose those powers just as suddenly.
They say that if you come across a bear in the wild to remember that it is probably just as scared of you as you are of it. I think it is as likely if the bear runs off it just thinks you are ugly.
In an effort to maximize the amount of good luck I could get I decided to hire 200 people to continuously shout good luck at me all day. I don't think it worked because I hate noisy crowds.
I think the hardest part of coming up with new deep thoughts has to be the sharks.
I think if you suddenly got super powers and you could fly you might not want to fly very high because you might lose those powers just as suddenly.
My Friends
r wants to poke the eyes of 9 friends
Old Deep Thoughts By r
Sometimes I look out myself in the mirror and think that I look different somehow, I then verbally assault myself screaming of all the things I
might do to me if I was not who I said I was, then I ask myself a question only I would know the answer. Sometimes all of that turns out very badly as I have a
very short memory.
Things sure have changed, why when I was a kid you could be considered a freak just by smelling bad and shooting guns wildly in the air, nowadays if you aren't naked in the back yard covered in pigs blood no one takes you seriously.
A friend once told me that if I could not make a woman scream in bed I was doing something wrong. So now I break into different women's apartments and stand over their bed with a large knife.
Life can be so frustrating sometimes. I hate it when I buy something and the store and it is sealed in a plastic wrapping that requires a large knife to open. This really annoys me because I like instant gratification. I think about running over the person responsible for the packaging with my car, problem is I want them to be right in front of me when I want to do it, because I like instant gratification.
If you are going really fast on a highway and you have a blow out in one of your front tires you will probably spin around several times. This will be a surreal moment that seems like it takes a long time. I suggest contemplating the differences between jams, jellies, marmalades, and spreads to pass the time.
I think if you can't stand the heat of a kitchen you should learn to make cold sandwiches because you would hate for there to be whole room of your house you couldn't go into just because it was too hot.
I think if you have a fly buzzing around you should wait until it is flying really fast and shut the lights off. It will probably run into something and knock itself out.
I find it is better to use water to give your pants that freshly peed in look. People will recoil just as fast when you try and hug them and you don't go through as much laundry detergent.
I think if someone says they like you and want to be your friend you should poke them in the eye. This way you will see if this new friendship can stand up to adversity.
Sometimes I tell women that I have 3 testicles so when they look at my crotch to see if they can tell... I can act all disgusted and tell them my eyes are not in my groin. Then I can stare at her breasts for the rest of the evening and she will be afraid to say anything.
Sometimes people yell "duck" at me and then something hits me in the head but it is very seldom a duck.
Things sure have changed, why when I was a kid you could be considered a freak just by smelling bad and shooting guns wildly in the air, nowadays if you aren't naked in the back yard covered in pigs blood no one takes you seriously.
A friend once told me that if I could not make a woman scream in bed I was doing something wrong. So now I break into different women's apartments and stand over their bed with a large knife.
Life can be so frustrating sometimes. I hate it when I buy something and the store and it is sealed in a plastic wrapping that requires a large knife to open. This really annoys me because I like instant gratification. I think about running over the person responsible for the packaging with my car, problem is I want them to be right in front of me when I want to do it, because I like instant gratification.
If you are going really fast on a highway and you have a blow out in one of your front tires you will probably spin around several times. This will be a surreal moment that seems like it takes a long time. I suggest contemplating the differences between jams, jellies, marmalades, and spreads to pass the time.
I think if you can't stand the heat of a kitchen you should learn to make cold sandwiches because you would hate for there to be whole room of your house you couldn't go into just because it was too hot.
I think if you have a fly buzzing around you should wait until it is flying really fast and shut the lights off. It will probably run into something and knock itself out.
I find it is better to use water to give your pants that freshly peed in look. People will recoil just as fast when you try and hug them and you don't go through as much laundry detergent.
I think if someone says they like you and want to be your friend you should poke them in the eye. This way you will see if this new friendship can stand up to adversity.
Sometimes I tell women that I have 3 testicles so when they look at my crotch to see if they can tell... I can act all disgusted and tell them my eyes are not in my groin. Then I can stare at her breasts for the rest of the evening and she will be afraid to say anything.
Sometimes people yell "duck" at me and then something hits me in the head but it is very seldom a duck.
